The baby will not stop crying,your toddler is fighting with the preschooler, your second-grader refuses to work on anything without you, the fourth-grader asked permission to go to the bathroom an hour ago, you’re late getting your sixth-grader to dance class, and your husband wants to know what’s for dinner. These are the days we just want to go back to bed, the days we lash out in anger or dissolve into tears or wonder why we ever thought homeschooling was a good idea. Every homeschool mom has times when she is weary of it all, even with an only child.
By the grace of God, these days usually pass. But make these mistakes and a bad day can become serious burnout, threatening the future of your homeschool. Avoid them and you can be happily homeschooling again much sooner.
- Neglecting Devotional Time
The number-one reason we moms become overwhelmed is because we’ve become self-sufficient Christians. We weren’t designed to do all things in our own strength but rather in His strength. Even with babies, late nights, and busyness, we must treat time in prayer and the Word like it’s as vital as eating. It absolutely is!
- Not Leaning on Your Husband
We are called to be our husband’s help meets, but our husbands are also called to care for us. How often my husband has rightly pointed out that I’m doing too many of the wrong things—like making a meal for a new mom when I had just had a baby myself! Pray that God would speak through your husband to encourage and guide you.
- Keeping an Erratic Sleep Schedule
One of the blessings of homeschooling is a flexible schedule. That blessing can become a curse, however, when we don’t sleep at roughly the same time each day. Immune suppression, irritability, and poor functioning result, even with the same amount of sleep. Use an alarm to remind yourself to go to bed on time.
- Too Many Outside Activities
Another blessing of homeschooling is the variety of opportunities for our families to participate in. Again, this blessing can become a serious source of stress one activity to another. If we don’t cut back and focus on homeschooling, illness will make the choice for us.
- Unrealistic School Schedule
If you’re new to homeschooling or perfectionistic, you may have expectations of your homeschool that no one could meet. If you show your ideal schedule to a happy veteran homeschooler and she laughs, you’ll know you need to get real. Assume every lesson will take twice as long as you think, and you’ll end up with the margin you need.
- Abandoning Routine
Doing too much is a common source of weariness, but the answer isn’t to give up your routine altogether. Without structure, your house and schooling will quickly plunge into chaos. Keep your basic routine intact and adopt a more relaxed attitude so that you and your children feel less pressure.
- Not Having Children Do Chores
Whether it’s because you’re too particular about the house or because you think it’s too much bother, failing to expect children to do chores is a fast track to burnout.This is a subject that must be parent directed. A great resource for training is Managers of Their Chores.
- Neglecting to Discipline
When we’re weary, it’s easy to let the kids get away with not doing their work or other bad behavior. Failing to discipline will only give us more grief long-term.Planning consequences for certain infractions in advance can help. Try the If-Then Chart from Doorposts.
- Not Utilizing Social Support
My friends who have their children in parochial schools help and support one another. How much more does a homeschooling mother need encouragement? Be sure to include in your weekly schedule time that allows you to talk with moms you can relate to.
- Too Little Exercise
When we’re tired, the last thing we feel like doing is exercising. Yet, it’s the key to having the energy we need to accomplish all we have to do. Exercise combined with proper nutrition reduces the risk of illness and most chronic diseases. Can you really afford not to exercise? You can benefit from as little as 15 minutes a day of vigorous activity.
- Misusing Substances
Fatigue can trick us into thinking we’re hungry, when actually those unneeded calories will only make us feel even more sluggish. Chronic use of caffeine and sleeping pills only masks symptoms and negatively impacts health in the long run. If you avoid making mistakes 1–10, you will find you no longer need your food or drug of choice.
- No Time for Other Pursuits
Over-commitment can prompt us to demand even more of ourselves in service to our families and others. The truth is that we will accomplish more if we take some time to pursue a hobby we love. Choose an activity for which your efforts will be praised—and have fun!
- No Limits on Free Time
While a little time for Mom is a good thing, unlimited time is not. Our hobbies and social activities can begin to spillover into time that should be reserved for school and our husbands. Set a timer and ask a Godly friend to hold you accountable for wise use of your free time.
- Not Planning Ahead
When you don’t have a plan for schooling,meals, or outside responsibilities,you’re going to be stressed and others will be too. Schedule time to plan the upcoming week and each evening, review your agenda for the next day.
- Eliminating Fun
We can punish our children and ourselves for not being disciplined by removing the optional, enjoyable activities in our homeschools. This is a mistake!Don’t try to make up for months of lack-luster schooling in a week. Maintain a reasonable pace, including time for what you all love, and you’ll be back on track more quickly.
- Not Asking for Help
God alone can provide the help we each need, but He chooses to give us the gift of participating in the helping. I enjoyed counseling others as a Christian psychologist, but I really love it when fellow homeschool moms ask me for help. Be honest with someone you trust about where you’re struggling, and ask for prayer and counsel.
“Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
Dr. Melanie Wilson is a Christian psychologist and mother of six who happily left her career thirteen years ago to heed God’s call to homeschool. She is the author of So You’re Not Wonder Woman?and has written a free meal-planning survival guide for weary moms available at her blog, Psychowith6.
Copyright 2013, used with permission. All rights reserved by author. Originally appeared in the February 2013 issue of The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine, the family education magazine. Read the magazine free at www.TOSMagazine.com or read it on the go and download the free apps at www.TOSApps.com to read the magazine on your mobile devices.